I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
