i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
