after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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