i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
