I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
