Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
