she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
