Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
They have beer where we have blood.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
