You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
