sorry about calling you the devil all night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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