my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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