eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
