YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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