I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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