He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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