All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
