I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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