That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
