umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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