It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize