dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
