I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
