I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
