I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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