Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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