so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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