I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
