I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
