I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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