She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
