I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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