the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
