it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize