Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's get the cat blown out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
