hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
