OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
