So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
