i think my mom watched the whole time
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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