Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
