I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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