All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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