i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize