Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Someone shattered a urinal.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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