I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
