so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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