You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize