my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
