sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
