And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
