Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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