There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had sex on a roof
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
