You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
