I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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