Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
