After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
