Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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