Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize