All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
