i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
