we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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